Author: Ryan Lane

War

If you can learn to love peace As much as you love war, And war As much as you love peace, Then you will never be alone, Never cast out, Forever at home.

The Hungarian Breeze

Today I am an official resident of Hungary. Five years ago I fell in love with a feeling. It greeted me as a breeze, as I and a couple dozen friends rolled through the trees, lit by dark yellow street lamps, on a bus. Then we dropped our bags at the old Radio Inn on Read More …

Vita Illuminativa

“The key of vita illuminativa is here in our hands, to say it better, it is here in our casks and bottles. From the wine we learn what intoxication is, what higher sobriety is, what illuminated life is.” — Béla Hamvas, The Philosophy Of Wine Intoxication, or any change in cognition, is best viewed as Read More …

The Lowest Focus

The swell of the hangover headache crests and wakes Int up from sleep. He’s been in this state with increased frequency since the move to Budapest. It’s a comfortable discomfort by this point, terrain he knows well and prays to for its ability to quiet the voices in his head, as it necessitates the rallying Read More …

Dreaming With A Friend

In this city I’ve never lived I have walked these streets countless times. My jaunts were spent first with crews, then my own thoughts, and for a few years now friends with whom we are freeing our relationship from time and space. Today I walked with one down the sun-stroked sidewalk lined with desert plants Read More …

Laying down the hunt

Tonight I sat and watched a mountain. Light from yellow, to soft blue, to midnight. I was waiting for the mountain to speak, and I heard voices, but the voices were not the mountain’s. The mountain emits. The voices were mine. I’ve been letting so many words into my brain these days that I feel Read More …

Give Means Heal

Thanksgiving is not without a point. It is, however, one that is moving away from the centuries-old grafting of a universal health spirit—gratitude—atop atrocities so horrific that a white nation in the feverish upswing of an imperial trance wouldn’t dare own up to them. And now, as the descendants of all beings involved, who have Read More …

Homecoming: Part 1

Stalking a haunted city in fall, at dusk, wrapped in clothes of wool and dark tones that echoed the crisp autumn air back to itself, saying: “you are not empty yet.” I was there at least. So were some spooks, or people who inspire dread by living in the shadows. I’m assuming they are people, Read More …

Bedrock For Future Becoming

This morning I awoke in the ashram of my mind, which was not just of the mind. I rose and dressed and filled my glass with water, setting out to greet the Phoenix dawn. Roaring garbage trucks blared salutations. It is, after all, Phoenix, and in 2015 the city still must work. Regardless (regarding) I Read More …

Pyramid Ship

Early on in Alaska I dreamt of a technician. He was on a massive ship fashioned after an Egyptian pyramid. This beautiful behemoth was somehow floating, glittered in gold and majesty unlike the seas had ever seen. The builder was a friend of the technician. And the technician was enjoying it like everyone else on Read More …